Off to a vacation!

Although i am off to a vacation after a long time but somehow i am not looking very forward to it.
All those familiar faces which i had been with, those people whom i had relied upon, some are not there anymore, no more in this world, one person who had always been a source of comfort and whom i had relied for any and every kind of wisdom, is now in a state where i don't know how i will even communicate with, one thing that hurts me even more that she seems to have forgotten her very own children, cannot even recall their names seems to remembers me every day and calls out to me, i never knew i was the centre of this much affection and can i really come up to the expectations that comes along this devotion?
Another bad news came on Friday, my lovely cousin with whom i had shared my sweet childhood has died, after suffering at hands of a cerebral cancer of some sort.
can still picture her as my never failing companion, a sister i never had, and now as i was gearing up to be able to meet her one last time she has already gone, with these things at hand can you anticipate a vacation, i know tearful days await me when i will choke and recall the times i shared with my loved ones, once again when i set foot in my homeland mum and dad you will not be there to welcome me with hand open wide and now even pyari you will not be there to comfort me the way you always did, all the same at least i will be able to hear your voice before i lose that comfort too!

i hope i will be there till my kids need me and then they put me at such a high devotional pedestal, i hope i will never disappoint my kids and my husband.