Are we at liberty to decide what is best for our selves and our family, should we take religion as our guide or does society always has to take over?
Why is it so that we decide that we don’t want to marry our daughters young and it seems all the world is turning against us? We are constantly advised to become more social, to keep contact with good families.
May I ask what a good family is? A “Mota Murga”( a rich guy)? Is money the solution to all the issues? I think not.
What is a suitable marriageable age? -as per the Pakistani society today, the preferable marriageable age for girls is 17 years onwards and the moment they turn 25 they seem to be considered to be old, too old. Modern science says that the development of the human brain goes on till 25 years of age, this girl who is getting married at 17, is she mature enough, perhaps looks wise yes but mentally she is a child and you want her to reproduce!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am asked how on the earth could you allow your daughter to shift out of your house, to stay in an apartment alone away from you, don’t you feel odd, what will the people say, well people aren’t you saying and does that effect me? No, not at all! She has to stay in her own company provided apartment as commuting from our home to her office is a highly tedious task, she needs to stay at close proximity to her office, and then aren’t we always in touch, there is something called phone. I trust her but why is this so difficult for people to understand?
People, it is time to grow up! Trust your family and have firm belief in your upbringing and leave the rest to Allah!
He never lets us down.
5 comments:
alhamdolillah for mothers like u that we girls are doign what we have always wished for....
hope we could yell out aloud nd let every1 know why our mothers trust us...because they are the ones who have made our base' so strong that nothing on earth can pull us down...
alhamdolillah and yayyyy for that!
:D
big hug.
If we cannot trust our daughters, we should not ask them, rather ask ourselves first as to where we went wrong.
Thanks for daughters like u, I maintain that trust still prevails in this world.
love.
Ek baat mujhay aaj tak nahi samjh ayee.
From a social point of view the minute ghar mai beti paida hoti hai , I see people parents looking at them like aasmaan sarr parr toot giya hai.
Then the collection of dowry starts at this point.
Kabhi nahi sochtay that male/female bacchon mai koi difference nahi hai. Kabhi nahi sochtay that the daughter has been born of the same bodies as the male.
That usko bhi educate karray, teach her self respect.
Ek taraf Islam teaches you, that JANNAT is under mothers feet. The other side your daughter who will someday also be a mother is treated like a second class citizen.
Back in the old days girls would get married as young as 11 (My nani being an example), though in decent families, the girl would continue to live with her parents, untill the time she was older.
My blood burns everytime I go to Lahore and someone tells me , "IKK HORE HONNAY CHAHIYE. IKK PUTTAR HONA CHAHIYE" ( you must have 1 more , a son). Jaahil stupid people.
Only I know how desperately I wanted to only have girls, and Allah has blessed me with 2 beautiful ones.
But to hear them talk. I always ask my mother in law, she gave birth to 3 sons, and apart from my husband who supports not only them but paid for 2 sisters weddings, and is often helping out the 2 useless brothers.
WHAT DID SHE GET?
My husband asks, if he is the KING of some land that he has to pass on his KINGDOM?
(sorry ranting on.....)
this comment comes pretty late, but i just stumbled across your blog :) it's 2007 but us desis are still living in the 17th century. i'm still not over the shock of hearing a young expecting mother (who had recently moved to the US from Pakistan after getting married) tell us that the only thing she hoped for was that if her baby was a girl, that she would be a pretty one. and then of course, there are still those older aunties who have no qualms about telling me, a law student, to my face, that girls are dumber than boys. it's so frustrating!! but women like you give me hope :)
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